Our spiritual connection to those we love

When we experience a profound loss, many of us find ourselves searching for a way to remain connected to the person we have lost. We may long to know that they are still somehow with us, that they are okay, or we may simply yearn to find a way to feel close to them. For some people, this search leads in the direction of spirituality, mediumship or a belief in the afterlife. For others, these ideas may feel unfamiliar or uncertain.

There is no right or wrong way to navigate this and there is value in being able to explore these possibilities without having to decide exactly what we believe.

A human need to explore what comes next

For many of us, the question of what happens after death becomes much more immediate when someone we love passes away. We may never have thought much about an afterlife before, but suddenly the possibility becomes deeply important. Perhaps this is because we have an intrinsic need to make sense of our loss, or because it becomes very clear that the bond we have with someone doesn't simply disappear when their physical presence does. We don't have to know what happens after death to acknowledge that this question matters.

A continuing bond with our loved ones requires us to develop a different way of connecting with them. We can all find our own ways of doing this, through memories, dreams, synchronicities, signs, or simply moments when we experience a powerful sense that the person we love is close.

Learning to feel connected in a different way

One of the hardest things about grief is the feeling of separation. When we lose someone, the physical relationship we had with them is suddenly gone. We can no longer reach for them, hear their voice, or share the ordinary moments of everyday life. The absence can feel enormous. Yet perhaps feeling separate and being separate are not necessarily the same thing.

When grief is at its most intense, our emotional world can become so overwhelming that it is difficult to notice anything beyond the pain. As the intensity softens, even temporarily, we may become more receptive to moments of connection.

Some spiritual traditions describe this in terms of energy or vibration: that we inhabit different states of consciousness and that connection may occur somewhere between them. Scientist and psychic Cheryl Page uses the term “vibrationship” to describe a meaningful connection between two souls on different vibrational octaves (i.e. one soul in physical form and one in spirit form). Perhaps this is simply another way of describing something many bereaved people experience: that our relationship changes but it still very much continues.

So perhaps our grief creates the experience of separation but, as Thich Nhat Hanh wrote, “we are here to awake from our illusion of separateness.”

This can't be all there is

For some people, losing a loved one raises an even bigger question: is this really all there is? I know from my own experience that profound loss changed my perspective. For me, the belief that consciousness continues after this physical existence is compelling. After all, science tells us that energy can't be destroyed. And if we accept, even as a possibility, that our soul also existed before this life, it raises another fascinating question: where are we between lives?

So perhaps there is some form of existence beyond our physical world, somewhere that might feel more like 'home' than this earthly experience. Michael Newton, PhD, explored these ideas in his book Journey of Souls, describing the soul as moving between a spiritual and material existence. For those who are curious about these possibilities, he offers an intriguing framework for what might happen between lives.

We don't have to know

Perhaps the most important thing is to be open minded about our spiritual connection to those we love. You can believe in an afterlife. You can be curious about it. You can be completely unsure. You can move between all three positions as you move through your grief.

I think there is something powerful in simply allowing ourselves to ask the questions.

Because when we lose someone, we have to learn how to carry them differently. Maybe that means holding them in our memories. Maybe it means noticing the little things that remind us of them. Maybe it means being open to dreams, signs or moments of inexplicable connection. Maybe it means believing that consciousness continues beyond physical death. Or maybe we simply don't know.

And not knowing doesn't have to close the door on possibility. For those of us who have lost someone we deeply love, there can be comfort in the idea that 'death ends a life, not a relationship'. So perhaps we don't really lose the people we love, we just have to learn to love them in a different way.

Our spiritual connection to those we love

If you're interested in exploring a spiritual connection with your loved one, or you'd like to find out about the grief support sessions I offer, please click here

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I have written three books about grief - visit my Books page to read about them

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Vanessa May

Holistic Grief Coach & Certified Grief Educator

BANT Nutritional Therapist

ILM accredited Wellbeing Coach

Spiritual Life Coach